15 Reasons To Stop Using The 'S' Word

The 'slut' debate has been a popular one of late. But is it a debate? Is there really anything to argue here? What possible reason would we have to continue to use a word that propagates nothing but negativity against our own kind - humankind? Why do we continue to create an unnecessary separation? Below you might find some reasons as to why we do it, and why it's time we stop doing it, for you, for me, for femininity, for humanity. Love and respect, not judgment and neglect.

15 Judgment

This is a two-tiered system of negativity that benefits no one. Oftentimes our judgment of others is a reflection of our own self-judgment, which is so ingrained and unconscious that we don't even recognize it and tend to project it on to those around us. If you find yourself judging someone else's actions or behaviour, try considering this question: Do I exhibit the same behaviour or attitudes in myself that I am judging in this person? Recognizing this in yourself will help to reduce the negative self-talk that you have rattling around in your brain, and it will see you become a more understanding, and compassionate individual.

14 Comparison

The comparison game is another negativity loop, either because you feel 'less than' somebody else, or 'better than' somebody else, putting them in to the 'less than' category. And being less than is a common fear, both internally and externally on a social level. There's also the idea that if you call someone else a slut, you think you are distancing yourself from it - creating the idea of 'the other' from which you are disassociating yourself from those characteristics. But all you're doing is continuing to propagate a myth, and a judgment that can just as easily be turned back on you, with little to no logic required to do so. The mere mention of the word is enough to tarnish.

13 Jealousy

This is tied in with judgment. Your self-judgment is limiting your potential, and keeping you in a confined space, as opposed to allowing yourself to explore the truth of your existence. Sitting in this cage you have created for yourself, experiencing its discomfort, you are bound to feel jealous of the freedom some may exhibit around you. But punishing somebody else for their self-imbued freedoms is futile, and trying to convince yourself that your cage is morally superior isn't fooling your subconscious. Allow yourself to explore your own sexuality, (that doesn't even mean you have to act on it), it just means allowing yourself the simplest of freedoms: self-exploration.

12 Semantics Matters

Semantics is a branch of the science of linguistics that studies meaning. It focuses on the relationship between signifiers such as words, phrases, signs and symbols, what they stand for, and what they denote even beyond the bounds of language. It may seem innocuous to use pejorative terms to reference the clothing or appearance of others, but the word slut still implies negativity surrounding female sexuality.

11 Feminism

Feminism is about the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of the equality of the sexes. Nowadays, men are referred to as “Players”, a word imbued with fun, enthusiasm and light heartedness, whilst women are called “Sluts”, which originates from the Old English meaning a “messy, dirty, or untidy” woman or girl. Why should the same act, often involving one of each of the sexes, result in such differing implications for two (or more) individuals involved? When it takes 'two to tango', why does the act denounce the character of one, and complement the other?

10 Empathy

For some women, seeking sexual desire and attraction is filling a void within themselves. Whether that's a lack of self-respect, confidence, acceptance or any other number of negative emotions that they are trying to escape. What would inspire you attack someone for that? Did you not grow out of bullying kids in the playground? Do you not now realize how cruel that was, to pick on the weak, to offer them up as prey? What is anyone gaining from this situation? What is there to attack in someone's suffering from low self-esteem?

9 Self Esteem

The word slut is a negative construction, and a patriarchal one at that. Even for an intelligent, confident woman, being called a slut can erode away at their self-esteem. Such a slur is attacking not only their actions and their attitudes, but essentially putting their morality into question. Don't get me wrong, questioning your own morality, and that of those around you is a valuable social skill, but there is one key difference. One is a question, and one is a pre-determined judgment often spat into the face of a stranger based on the limited perspective of the accuser.

8 The Standard

Who's setting the standard for what makes a slut anyhow? Is there a quiz I can take (oh wait, I'm sure there is)… But honestly, who's setting the bar for slutdom? How are women that feel genuine fear of this word, even supposed to avoid it being used on them?! Who of you out there have the hard facts on the preconceived sexual norms to which we should all be following? You don't even have to be sexually promiscuous to be a slut; you don't even have to have had sex at all to be a slut. If your skirt's too short, your heels too tall, you talk like this, you flirt like that, the slut-name-and-shame is anyone's game. Don't play it!

7 Openness

Some people are genuinely just more open to experiences than you! That's okay isn't it? Why is that a problem for you? What threat does it actually create for you that would see you want to degrade another person? Who are you to deny the sexual freedom and exploration of another woman? You're free to live out your own sex life, why aren't they? Instead of limiting yourself and those around you with negativity, why not help to establish a space of freedom of expression, a place free of judgment so that women can find the truth of their own sexual identity, free from the tyranny and unkindness of societal restraint.

6 Compassion

There's more than enough hatred uniting people in the world. What we need is a world founded on love and compassion. Compassion for yourself and everybody else. Even if you see a woman that meets your internal standards and definitions of the word slut, think long and hard before you speak. Is your naming and shaming another woman as a slut, going to bring more light or darkness to the world? Are you treating others the way that you would like to be treated? If you encourage yourself to empathise with another individual and their situation you will reap the benefits of personal growth, and the knowledge that you are being part of a compassionate revolution.

5 Fear

What are you afraid of? Are you afraid of being judged and made to feel inferior? Fear is the result of our mind becoming fixated on an undesirable situation or feeling we 'fear' will happen to us. Fear leads us to blame the world for our circumstances. If fear is keeping you from being open to explore your sexuality, then you will be disparaging to those who have the openness and confidence to do so, in which case your using the 's' word is just a reflection of your own inherent fears. And do you really think that nobody else knows that?

4 Shame

Slut shaming is 'degrading or mocking a woman because she enjoys having sex, has sex a lot, or may even just be rumoured to participate in sexual activity.' By instilling shame in someone you are actively seeking to fulfil a painful feeling of humiliation or distress which is an implied result caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behaviour. Telling someone to be ashamed of themselves robs them of peace of mind, the initiative to become their best selves, and be comfortable in their skin.

3 Self-Love

Don't go round self-slut-shaming either. Be kind, patient and tolerant of yourself, and you will find that you can better exhibit similar sentiments to those around you. You will be more patient, loving and virtuous and as such you will be more open and inquisitive and your wisdom and compassion will grow, and you will radiate greater acceptance and peace and that will be the energy you give to the world rather than one of fear and judgment.

2 Oppression

The word 'slut' is a debasing and simplistic label. By calling someone a 'slut' you are reducing them to a judgment call, denying their existence as a unique and complex being with her own stories, fears, feelings and experiences. It's a dismissive word that renders the subject worthless. This leads to a culturally accepted misogyny and an extensive oppression of female sexuality that is sinister and dangerous.

1 Evolution

It's time to evolve. Evolve the way we communicate, and the way we connect. Create a world of love and peace not fear and persecution. If we can recognize the connectedness of everything, the way we treat ourselves reflecting how we treat other people, and thus forming the commonplace of the world in which we live, then we have the power to change it and create a world of freedom and equality for all men and women.