20 Things 'Grey's Anatomy' Taught Me About Relationships
Thirteen years, 14 seasons, over 300 hundred episodes with earth-shattering drama, tragic heartbreak, and a ton of life lessons. ABC's Grey's Anatomy has been making us fall in love, laugh, and cry with our favorite characters since 2005. It takes a special kind of television series to survive for more than a decade and still be going strong. If you've ever seen Grey's Anatomy, you understand exactly what I'm talking about. And if you have never tuned in to the show, you shouldn't continue with that life choice.
From Meredith to Cristina, Derek to Mark, Arizona and Alex, every single character in the series has made us feel something at one point. Cristina and Meredith have become our people. Derek Shepherd is forever our McDreamy. And Alex… well, he can save my life any day.
Shonda Rhimes, the creator of the show, has dug deep into our souls and embedded her story and characters within us till the end of time. In each episode, viewers are taken on a rollercoaster of ups and downs full of important lessons and advice we can use in our own lives. A lot of the great storylines of the show are centered around relationships, be they romantic or platonic. Out of all the amazing messages in Grey's Anatomy, here are 20 things it taught me about relationships.
SPOILER ALERT: This article covers details from Seasons 1 - 14 of Grey's Anatomy
20 You Need To Find "Your Person" In Life
From day one, Meredith Grey and Cristina Yang know they'd found something special in each other. Their bond is unbreakable despite all the many obstacles they've faced. Together, they survive heartbreak, loss, and trauma.
Cristina is Meredith's person and Meredith is Cristina's person; that is who they are, and everyone knows this.
This is a relationship everyone deserves to have in their life. Having someone you can count on forever is priceless. Even when Meredith and Cristina fight, they know they will still always be there for each other. You deserve to have someone like this in your life who can just dance it out with you when times are tough.
19 The Beginning Isn't Always Perfect
We all know how Meredith first met Dr. McDreamy, right? In a bar the night before her first day as an intern as Seattle Grace. We looked into his mesmerizing blue eyes and all fell in love. However, in came “satan”- Addison Montgomery, Derek's wife.
When Meredith and Derek first became a couple, he was married to a fiery redhead. There was a lot of backstory to how Derek ended up alone in Seattle in the first place, including Addison cheating on him with his best friend. Derek ends up putting Meredith on the back burner to try working things out with Addison. This is the beginning of one of the most beloved television relationships, “MerDer," and obviously it was in no way perfect.
18 Grand Gestures Are Always Worth It
How else can you win over your life's great love than by carrying out a beautiful grand gesture?
There is many a grand gesture to be admired in Grey's Anatomy.
Derek proposing to Meredith in the elevator, Alex marrying a sick Izzie, Callie taking Arizona to the bedazzled trailer for a seriously romantic date. The options are endless.
One of the most memorable grand gestures from the show is when Meredith proves her love and commitment to a worried McDreamy by building out their dream home with candles. Magical moments can come from well-thought-out grand gestures, and it doesn't have to be expensive, either.
17 You Can Have More Than One Love Of Your Life
Some people believe you are made for one person, you can only have one soulmate in life, and you are only allowed one true love. Maybe this is the case for someone like Meredith, but this definitely doesn't have to be true for all of us. It's completely acceptable to fall in and out of love. Sometimes, these things just happen. Just because a relationship you felt was absolutely true love doesn't work out doesn't mean you can't have another love of your life romance.
Look at Callie and Arizona, they were everything to each other. But, then they weren't, and Callie felt empty. But a shiny, new Penny came along and became the love of her life.
16 Having A Support System Is Important
It's impossible to live life completely alone. It's not only incredibly lonely but also depressing and unrealistic. A good support system in your life will make the hard parts so much easier to handle. Meredith didn't grow up having the wonderful family most dream of. She had a hard working, busy surgeon for a mother and that was it.
As an adult, she built herself a family within her friends- something we can all learn from.
Alex Karev, Cristina Yang, George O'Malley, and Izzie Stevens were her family, along with the several others who entered her life throughout the years. She knew if she ever needed someone to count on or cry on, they would be there for her no matter the circumstances.
15 Talk About Your Goals In Life With Your Partner
You would think after the first time, maybe Dr. Owen Hunt would learn this lesson, but nope. You must talk about all the important things like life experiences, the future, and goals, with the person you love before marrying them. If you are in love with someone who doesn't share the same morals or family-type goals as you do, it's going to be hard to carry on with them forever.
No matter how magical Owen and Cristina were together, she just did not want to have kids, like ever. But the warm-hearted Owen did… we know how this worked out for them and are pretty sure no one ever wants to go through that. Except maybe Owen, because he did the nearly the same thing with Dr. Amelia Shepherd years later.
14 You Might Have To Fight For What You Want
We definitely do not endorse becoming a homewrecker, but sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants. Meredith and Derek fell in love while he was still married to Addison, there's nothing nice to say about that situation. But once Addison gave Derek an out with divorce papers, he was still hesitant.
Meredith decided to fight for this love with her somewhat pathetic but still totally tear-jerking “pick me, choose me” speech.
We've seen nearly every Grey's Anatomy couple fight for true love and happiness. Most of the time it works out for them. If you want happiness in life, sometimes you are going to have to fight hard for it.
13 Love Is Worth It
True love is can make your heart fly high at times and completely shatter it at others. It'll make you smile, laugh, cry and feel like you are dying. But a love that's true, like with Meredith and Derek, Owen and Cristina, Alex and Jo, Arizona and Callie, or Mark and Lexie, and the others I know I am regrettably leaving out for the sake of time and space, can be absolutely worth all the pain.
Imagine if Meredith never went back to Derek after their first fight or second or third? Working hard and facing life's obstacles is worth it when it comes to true love.
12 Don't Be Too Guarded
Opening your heart up is a really difficult thing to do, especially if you've been hurt time and time again. Some of us have the tendency to keep ourselves closed off and our walls up high.
However, by always living a guarded life, you might miss out on some really great opportunities.
We know life can be scary and putting your faith into someone else's hands is one of the most frightening things you can do. But it can also be one of the most rewarding. We know both Alex and Jo Wilson have dealt with their fair share of problems, but despite everything, they allowed themselves to open up to one another.
11 You'll Never Learn If You Don't Try
There is no way of without a doubt knowing if something will work out if you don't take a chance on it and try. Even if something doesn't work out for you in the way you hoped, at least now you know to let it go, because you tried. When Izzie fell in love with her patient, Denny Duquette, everything and everyone was telling her no, but she had to learn what it was for herself.
We'll never be able to think of LVAD wires the same way, but at least she tried her best to save him and share a life with him. Trying is often the first step to happiness.
10 Everybody Needs Somebody
Just like everyone needs to breathe to survive, everyone needs someone in their lives. I know this is a very vague statement, but it ties back into loneliness and happiness. A life cannot be fully lived if there is no one to share it with. Take Rebecca Pope a.k.a Ava a.k.a Jane Doe, for example.
She turned out to be a complete nutjob in the end, but she still needed someone in her life to help her get through things.
It is human nature to crave attention, love and companionship. If you are a born loner, you can deny this, but you're probably lying to yourself.
9 Everyone Deserves The Truth
It's safe to say you'd want to know the truth about something that involves you, right? Feeling like you're being lied to, manipulated, or deceived is not a great place to find yourself. I've learned in so many instances in Grey's Anatomy that the truth can definitely hurt. But it's also shown that everyone deserves the truth, even if it is going to hurt them. By telling the truth, you are allowing the other person to move on and heal from the situation toward happiness.
Even if Callie wasn't a fav character yet, she deserved to know that her marriage with George was falling apart because he cheated on her with Izzie.
8 Nobody's Perfect
Nobody is perfect. And as hard as it is to believe, not even McDreamy is perfect. Heck, he cheated on Addison, almost cheated on Meredith, and nearly lost himself. Not a single character in the show has been played out to be perfect. No matter how attractive, funny or likable they are, they still all have human faults.
When you find yourself in a relationship, it's important to remember that it is okay not to be perfect.
People make mistakes, and the person you are with probably isn't perfect either. Recognizing that even the best Grey's Anatomy characters aren't perfect should help you accept that your lover isn't either.
7 If You Love Someone Tell Them Now
The unforgettable moment we lost Lexie, Mark, and Arizona's leg is forever burned into our souls. The surprising events that unraveled surrounding the heart-shattering plane crash needs to forever serve as a reminder to us all that if you love someone, tell them, before it is too late. Mark and Lexie Grey were always in love with each other.
This fateful and tragic event took away their chance to live out their love story because they waited to tell each other how they really felt. While lying on his bed, Mark shares this life-changing advice with Jackson Avery.
“If you love someone, tell them. Even if you're scared that it's not the right thing. Even if you're scared that it'll cause problems. Even if you're scared that it'll burn your life to the ground, you say it and you say it loud and you go from there.”
6 Make Sure You Put Yourself First Sometimes
When you are in a relationship and always sacrificing your needs for the happiness of the other person, you will start to lose the sense of who you are and what you want in life.
This is not a good thing- we saw Meredith start to do this when she was married to Derek.
She left neuro because it was causing problems and she almost gave up her whole career so that his could succeed. Cristina looked into Meredith's eyes and told her the one thing we all need to know; “Don't let what he wants eclipse what you need. He's very dreamy, but he's not the sun. You are!”
5 You Should Never Have To Beg Someone To Stay In Your Life
The hardheaded and strong-willed Cristina Yang dealt with her fair share of difficult relationships. She knew, though, that she was worth being with and didn't need to beg anyone to stay with her. Granted, she did put aside her own dreams a time or two for the sake of the relationship, but when it came down to it, she stood her ground.
If someone wants to be with you, they will. If you have to beg them to be with you, they don't deserve to be with you. When Dr. Preston Burke left Cristina on their wedding day, she did not beg him to come back. She pulled herself together and got back on track.
4 Not Everything Is Going To Be Sunshine And Rainbows
Real relationships are real hard, in both the romantic and platonic sense. It takes work to make both love and friendships last. When the times get hard, you need to remind yourself that it's not always going to be “sunshine and rainbows.”
The “greatest couple” ever even had their hard times and fights.
Remember when Meredith took off with Zola, the orphan from Africa? You can bet Derek was scared and wanted to run from her, but he didn't. Even when she ruined his Alzheimer's study, he stayed. Even when Cristina and Meredith stopped talking to each other, Meredith still stayed true to her because that's what true relationships do. They stand firm when the walls start crumbling.
3 Don't Blame Yourself For Who You Love
The heart wants what the heart wants. You should never blame yourself for who you love. If you want to live a fulfilling and happy life, it's a good idea to follow your heart. Now, there are better ways to follow your heart than what Jackson Avery and April Kepner did on the day of April's wedding to another man, but hey, to each their own.
Jackson and April had strong feelings for each other and could not fight it any longer. While they can't blame themselves for who they love, they can blame themselves for the “Oh, snap!” way they handled it.
2 Love Doesn't Always Mean Happiness
Lexie Grey loved Mark Sloan with all her young heart, and for what it's worth, Mark felt the same way about her. When they did date, though, Lexie wasn't as happy as she should be. She wanted to be with Mark, but she also wanted to be happy.
It takes a mature person to realize even though you love someone, they might not be what's right for you.
A lot of Grey's Anatomy couples are perfect examples of relationships that needed to end despite the deep love felt for each other. Maybe Mark and Lexie would have worked out, but Owen and Cristina definitely wouldn't have no matter how much love there was.
1 Giving Up Does Not Make You Weak
Cristina Yang was one of the wisest characters on Grey's Anatomy. She knew wholeheartedly what she wanted in life and wasn't afraid to fight for her future. Owen came into Cristina's life at a time where they both needed it most. Their emotions for each other were raw and true, but eventually, Cristina outgrew the relationship.
Knowing when something is over and figuring out how to move on from that comfortable spot is one of the bravest things you can do in relationships. They tried over and over to make it work until Cristina finally gave up. Owen wanted something she couldn't give him, so she let him go, giving him the chance at real happiness.
References: Odyssey, Huffington Post, Glamour, Women, BuzzFeed
